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Season 1Edit

  • Sue: "Mom! The dryer ate my legwarmers again."
  • Frankie "How many times do I have to tell you? No putting wet stuff in the dryer anymore! - Pilot 
  • "I can't go to school today. My hair is stringy, my face is too oval and I have NO friends." - The Jeans
  • "Everything just seems impossible." - Signals
  • "It's ALL YOUR FAULT!" - The Trip

Season 2Edit

  • "I think Axl's being a baby. Embarrassment is an important part of sports. My coach told me that." - Homecoming

  • Mike: We waited too long to tell Sue about unicorns.

​        ''Sue: That was embarrassing. I did a whole science project on them.

        ''12 Year Old Sue: The unicorn's primary food source is rainbows. But they have also been known to eat                    clouds.  - A Birthday Story

  • "Oh my god I've won. I've won a contest! Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I won a trip to New York!" - Hecks on a Plane 

  • Frankie: I am trying to build memories for our family. Memories for our daughter so she has something to write about besides form lettuce.

        Sue: You read my diary?

        Frankie: We all have.

        Brick: It's no menopause. - Hecks on a Plane


Season 3Edit

  • "In high school, do we call it the caf? Because when Hannah Montanna went to high school, they called it the caf." - Forced Family Fun: Part 1
  • "Mom! Axl chip clipped my eye! It really hurts, but I left it on to show you what he has done." -Forced Family Fun Part 2


  • Frankie: Sue, are you ok?

        Sue: No not at all. All of a sudden, Matt turned into the worlds worst kisser.

        ''Frankie: What do you mean?

        Sue: Out of nowhere, he puts his-his tongue into my mouth. Oh, my God! What it that? Who does that?

        Frankie: Well...

        Sue: I can't help but feel sorry for him. It's like he totally forgot how to kiss. I mean, what place does a tongue           have in kissing?" - Valentine's Day III


  • Sue: Oh my god! He did it again. This time I tried to keep my mouth closed, but it still got in there somehow. It's almost like he's doing it on purpose.

        Frankie: Yeah, Sue, here's the thing. He is doing it on purpose.

        Sue: What? Why? Why would he do something like that? It's so mean.

        Frankie: Yeah, well it might seem mean to you now, but, you know, some people like it.

        Sue: Who? Who would like that? It's like having an eel in your mouth.

        Frankie: Oh, come one Sue, there are two girls that are pregnant in your class right now. You never heard of             french kissing?

        Sue: Whoa. Wait a minute. That's french kissing?

        Frankie: Yeah, what did you think it was?

        Sue: I thought it was kissing during a rainbow.

        Frankie: Wow! We really need to talk more often. - Valentine's Day III


  • I am growing up. Look at me. I'm in line for a Justine Bieber Concert! - The Concert


  • Sue: Well, you know how I had an overbite-crossbite? Seems they overcorrected, and now I have an underbite-overbite.

        Frankie: Is that even a thing?

        Sue: The doctor says it's unprecedented. I'm devastated. This is a catastrophe! - The Paper Route


  • Sue: But what if nobody ever loves me like that again?

        Axl: Ugh. Why do you not listen to me? I told you before, guys could... [sighs]  ... like you.

        Sue: Really?

        Axl: Trust me. I see a lot of girls where I go "How does she have a boyfriend", but you know what? They do, so         why not you?

        Axl: What are you doing right now?

        Sue: Well, I was going to write out the entire lyrics to "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce and send it to Matt.

        Axl: Okay, you're not doing that. - The Paper Route


  • I went from being invisible, to being mistaken for an Asian flu. I tried changing myelf, but it didn't work - The Guidance Counselor 


Season 4Edit

  • Sue: Do you guys have favorite kids?

        Frankie: I like those Donahues.

        Sue: No, of us. Mom, I really want to know this. Do you guys have favorite kids, among us kids? Do you guys          have favorites?

        Frankie: Honey, don't be ridiculous. Parents love all their kids infinitely. If there's infinite love, then it's not                possible to love one more than the other because infinite love is infinite.

        Mike: Guess I'd say Axl.

        Sue: Dad!

        Frankie: Mike! - Last Whiff of Summer :Part 1


  • Sue: Of course, it would make sense that Axl would be your favorite. You spend more time with him, and he's a boy and everything, and I've got to own that.

        Mike: Sue, he's not my favorite. It's just a dumb thing I said.

        Sue: [hand up] Owning it. But it's not enough to just own it. I have to fix it. And that's why I'm declaring this,             "The Summer of Sue and Dad" [shows Mike a big binder photo album book].

        Mike: Wow. That's a... big book.

        Sue: Yes, it is. And you and I are gonna fill every single page with special memories we make starting now.             [snaps picture] ' - Last Whiff of Summer: Part 1




  • Sue: You're just mad because your girlfriend is out of town.

        Axl: She's at a wedding, which is something you'll never be at. I suggest buying a wacky hat and starting your           cat collection now.

        Sue: That's not even an insult. I love cats! - Valentine's Day IV


  • Sue: "No! It's rigged!"

        Frankie: "It's not rigged Sue."

        Sue: "Then how come the wheel of pain always lands in me?"

        Mike: "Tonight of life in general?" - Wheel of Pain


  • I can't loose my party. It's my Sweet 16. It's the only birthday with it's own adjective. - Wheel of Pain


  • "That punch in the face was a real slap in the face." - Dollar Days

  • Sue: Did I mention that the examiner said it was the single greatest piece of driving he's ever seen?

        Frankie: I'm sure you did great, honey.

        Sue: Yeah.

        Mike: She did do great. Sue, you're an excellent driver.

        Sue: Can I drive the family to Graduation?

       Mike: Absolutely not. - The Graduation


Season 5Edit

  • I wrote a killer essay called "Leading when no one is looking, listening or letting you. - The Drop Off 
  • " Oh my gosh!  I can get a job, I'm sixteen, I'm so lucky! Mom, will you drive me to the mall today? -The Potato
  • Sue: This is so hard. It's like Sophie's choice. My friend Sophie is getting a puppy for her birthday, and she can't decide between a corgi and a beagle.

        Frankie: You know, Sue, there's also a movie called "Sophie's Choice".

        Sue: Oh, really? Was it about dogs? Was it sad? Oh, wait. Don't spoil it for me. - The Potato

  • "He is a musician, and a poet, and he can parallel park like nobody's business!" - The 100th


  • "My American Girl babysitting manual did not prepare me for this!" - The Kiss
  • Sue: How about we run out of the house yelling 'fire' and when the Glossners follow us out, we lock them out
  • Brick: I was thinking about starting an actual fire! -The Kiss
  • "Our house is going to be like a magical Christmas wonderland." - The Christmas Tree
  • "Oh no, I'm allergic to Christmas!" - The Christmas Tree

Sue: I swear I heard bells go off when we kissed Brick: In that case, we're all in love with Darrin. -The Wind Chimes

Season 6Edit

  • "I rode the caffeine pony and it took me to the depths of hell. - Major Anxiety
  • "I am going to East Indy, Axl whether you like it or not!" -Hecks on a Train
  • "I have no cord, no yearbook. It's like I walked on sand and didn't leave any footprints, and not the Jesus kind because that was really cool." -The Graduation
  • Sue: Everytime I go, he says three more months. I go in March, he says three more months, I go in June aand he says three more months! See, I marked it on the calendar.

    Brick: Maybe while you were marking things on the calendar you could marked the first day of school. -Unbraceable You

  • Sue: I can just kiss seargeant of arms goodbye!

  • Axl: not with that mouth you can't! -Unbraceable You

Season 7Edit

Season 8Edit

"We may be in temporary housing, but we're not temporary people!" Look Who's Not Talking

  • Sue: Look, I believe I was very cool about you dating my best friend, but I didn't know it meant that you would be there all the time, even when she's not here!
  • Axl: Last time I checked, Lexie's dad is paying the rent, so what Lexie wants, Lexie gets. And what Lexie wants is all this, and Lexie's dad wants me to eat your chips. -Adult Swim

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