Season 1Edit

Not very fast for a superhero! -Pilot

Sue : Dad said I suck at swimming!

Frankie : Mike!

Mike: And then I bought you a creamcicle -Cheerleader

"What happened, pal?" -The Front Door

Season 2Edit

Mike: Come on, dad! We have crumby food and TV at our house, too

Big Mike: Well that doesn't sound to inviting -Thanksgiving II

Mike: What happened?

Rusty : Ah you know the economy

Mike: The economy burned down your house? -Thanksgiving II

"I'm not reecieveing an award for showing up to work everyday. Is this what they're doing now!?" -The Legacy

Frankie: Why do we even bother carving pumpkins aymore?

Mike: The same reason we feed them: habit -Halloween

Season 3Edit

"How many times do we have to tell you? Mom has eyes on the back of her head! -The Telling

"Not the Colts so I don't want to hear it!"

Season 4Edit

"There's a job fair in the paper" -Second Act

Sue: Out of all of us, which one is your favorite?

Mike: I pick Axl - Last Whiff of Summer

"How do you suppose Brick is going to bond with phyco bunny?" -Bunny Therapy

Season 5Edit

Frankie: So is this the hole that leads to my area?

Mike: No, that hole is your area

Frankie: I still don't get why we need walkies. I've been yelling at you for twenty years!

(marching band plays)

Frankie: Okay! I get it now! -The 100th

Season 6Edit

"I can put a pillow over her head and we meet at a gas station and make the switch then" -The College Tour

"What is the matter with this family? Why can't we ever get anywhere on time?" -the Graduation

"Whoa! It's like a demilition derby in her mouth!" -Unbraceable You

"For every hour you sit here, you get a couch cushion back." -The Loneliest Locker

Season 7

Mike: Hey, Axl can you pick me up a taco?

Axl: I'm nowhere near the taco place

Mike: are you sure you aren't 0.3 miles away from it? -Find My Hecks

Frankie: Why are you wearing a Hawiian shirt? Are all your 300 flannels in the laundry? 

Mike: I just wanted a change

Frankie: Those are words I've been waiting 23 years to hear-The Shirt

"These things don't make you worry less, they make you worry more. That's it! I'm getting these apps off all of these phones... Axl, get these apps off our phones. -Find My Hecks

Season 8Edit

Rowdy:Are there any helth problems I should be concerned of?

Mike:We probably all have high cholesterol 

Rowdy:Yeah, I'm not sure that counts -Escape Orson

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