- Brick: I wish I could stay home and watch TV and have you make me soup.
Frankie: Oh, sorry honey, wrong family. - The Floating Anniversary
- This is an outrage. If you're gonna shut off the power, do it at the top of the hour before I'm already hooked on "Conveyer Belt of Love". - TV or Not TV
- "That's his plan! Turn us aginst each other so that we lose track of time!" -TV or No TV
- "Nobody's dying! Your dad and I just wanted to sit down at the table as a family."
Season 2 Edit
- Mike: What are you doing?
Frankie: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm rocking a piece of our grandchild! - The Big Chill
"Whoever knew that 'I love you' could be the biggest flop at a Thanksgiving dinner ever!" Thanksgiving II
- Frankie: Stop it, you two! You're ruining Battle Boggleopoly! - Forced Family Fun
- I feel like I'm starting to sound crazy. But someone who knows they're crazy isn't really crazy, right? Like Hitler. - The Friend
- Frankie: Who buys a person yellow pants?! Did I say pants? Did I say YELLOW pants? Did anyone hear me say, YELLOW PANTS?! - Hallelujah Hoedown
- " I want the Back Master 2000. They sell it at Brickstone for $40. Get me the yellow one with the infared rolling balls." -'Hallelujah Hoedown
- "That's sure a mighty fine thing you've done" - The Hose
- Your dad's wearing a belt he found on a park bench, we're not givign you any more money. - Change in the Air
- I TOLD you not to let me stay up and watch House Hunters International! - The Carpool
Frankie: So is this the hole that leads to my area?
Mike: No, that hole is your area
Frankie: I still don't get why we need walkies. I've been yelling at you for twenty years!
(marching band plays)
Frankie: Okay! I get it now! -The 100th
"Why couldn't the first one be a yes!? -The Waiting Game
"Didn't you love it when they were all squishy and helpless and we could love on them whenever we wanted?" -The The Wisdom Teeth
"It's easy to do something you like doing for someone, but something you hate, that's love.