Bad Choices is the sixth episode of season three.


Frankie and Mike begin to consider moving out of the house and into an apartment. Meanwhile, Axl pretends to be sick to avoid going to school and taking a test, but then learns of a party that night and has to pretend to make a miraculous recovery. Elsewhere, Sue prepares a presentation about distracted and drunk driving, and Brick becomes obsessed with Shakespeare.


Frankie realizes the neighborhood is changing. The economy has forced a lot of Frankie's neighbors to start "visiting family" permanently. It's sad when folks are forced to leave their home, but Frankie is considering doing so voluntarily. After all, the roof on the Heck house is full of holes. The entire family must arm itself with dozens of buckets to catch the downpour of water that invades whenever it rains.

Frankie and Mike can't afford a new roof. Their emergency fund went to paying for Brick's cavity. Speaking of Brick, he's been offering a little bit of levity lately by spouting Shakespearean quotes. He does this anywhere because, well, all the world's a stage. Of course, he's performing on an extremely wet stage once the dishwasher releases some raging waters throughout the kitchen.

Bob thinks Frankie should consider moving into an apartment complex called Hickory Arms. That's not to be confused with the cheese and sausage place known as Hickory Farms. The spacious apartment looks great. Frankie loves it. Mike actually likes the pad more than he thought he would. The kids, however, are steadfastly against a move. If only Frankie and Mike knew what was the right thing to do.

Speaking of doing the right thing, Sue and ex-boyfriend Brad are starring in an educational skit for school. They are Team Sober Non-Texting and Driving ambassadors. The theme of their routine is "bad choices." And that doesn't include the odd costumes they don during their skit about two dead teens who finally learn their lesson about texting and driving. Contrary to the subject matter, it's a very lively performance.

Axl is woefully unprepared for an upcoming Spanish test. The plan is to fake an illness. The problem is that there's a big party the night of exam day. Axl knows he must begin his fake illness the night before so that he'll be too sick for the test but be well on the road to recovery come party time.

The plan works well until Axl learns there's an oral exam the next day. He'll just have to pull a "sick, not sick, sick" scam. His attempt throw an additional "not sick" in at the end in order to play in a big game fall flat. So he lays a Jewish holiday excuse on his teacher. This is topped off by a lie about attending a funeral to get himself out of a makeup test on Saturday. Believe it or not, his "sick, not sick, sick, Jewish holiday, family funeral" scam actually works!

Frankie and Mike are seriously considering a move to apartment life. Things change when some neighbors pop by to help Mike fix that leaky roof. It turns into a bit of a block party. All thoughts of Hickory Arms become a distant memory as more and more people come to help. Unfortunately for Axl, a few of those helpers are folks who clue in Frankie to his big "sick, no sick" deception. Hey, that's what neighbors are for!

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